Children are nosy and inquisitive but their action and behavior sometimes need to be monitored. Dealing with children’s behavior issues is integral for her progress through the years. And by no means should it should affect the psychological development of the child. Children may be still unaware of the appropriate and inappropriate in terms of behavior. They may be just exploring their emotional outburst and behaving in their own fancy ways. I have had my instances of extreme outburst and meltdowns right in the middle of the road, at grocery stores and even at school drop off lines. As a mother, all I can suggest if,’ keep your cool and learn to move on’
It may be fair, not to attend to every shriek right from infancy. All a child knows at 0 to 4 months is the yell and hum so not every time the child means PLEASE ATTEND MY CALL. Some of the behavioral expectations must be aligned from as early as infant stage.
Some normal behavior patterns, which must be overlooked for a few:
1- Crying at every small instance:
Children cry and that’s how they develop their own emotional self. Must not attend to every time the child cries; let the child learn to console herself. It is extremely important for the child to be able to calm her down.
2- Words which are irrelevant but children tend to repeat:
Children catch a few rhythmic connotations from interactions with people. These may not be words but children keep repeating them. Early on they look cute and we may also use them but sometimes it makes us loose our cool. We may correct that word but definitely overlook the usage then.
3- Do not react when in a social gathering:
The child must not be reprimanded or pointed out when with many people. This may affect the self-confidence of the child and may make her reticent or brazen out
How to deal with serious behavioral issues: Sharing some theories I developed as a mother and has been a success in most instances:
1- Carrot and stick theory with a twist:
Reward the positive behavior with utmost vigor. And in the same time, punish with reducing screen time, or play time or not taking them out. And announce the ramifications with behavioral inconsistency. And do reward with playground time, park fun or science museums.
2- Reinforce positives rather than negatives:
Remember not to repeat and highlight the negative or inacceptable behaviors again and again. The more we repeat “why not” and “what not”, more and more the behavior gets fixed in the child’s system.
3- Draw a line between ignoring and needs attention:
Make a proper boundary between what is to be ignored and what needs immediate attention. The age appropriate repercussions must be set in place, in accordance with the intensity of misbehavior. Try and formulate a healthier and coherent outcome.
Some behaviors that need immediate attention:
1- Abrupt change in behavior
2- Interfering when parents or elders talking (every time)
3- Shouting at other kids
4- Hitting or biting others
5- Throwing things at others
6- Throwing things from grocery store aisles
7- Not listening to you
8- Not doing what is asked or expected of
9- Refusing to understand what you expect
10- Too rough and arrogant behavior
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How to prevent the meltdowns or behavioral issues:
It is always advisable to prevent the behavioral issues by subsiding the triggers. We know what makes our child involve in behavioral outbursts, so it’s better to avoid such situations. Even an elder child needs this preventive technique. Remember learning the right behavior involves a lot of dedication from parents part.
1- Keep the triggers to misbehavior away
2- Be firm and consistent in attending to the misbehavior
3- Do not shout but convey your disregard to the issue
4- Time outs must be 1 minute for every year of her age
5- Prevent the child from arguments involving abusive languages
6- Explain the desired behavior very firmly
7- Reward the child for every time she listens and pursues the desired behavior
8- Keep involving the child in more and more exciting activities to reduce the instances of behavioral issues. Participate and enjoy the family time with the child
9- The creative energy of the child must be streamlined into a more constructive activity
10- Never compare your child with other children, this may cause low self esteem and other self-confidence issues
The above compilation on dealing with children’s behavior issues is to understand what and why the meltdowns occur and how can, as a parent we must identify and reiterate positive behavior patterns. Do consult your pediatrician for more sever episodes. Go ahead with therapy treatments as they are great in stimulating and enriching the child.
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By Minu Manisha
