Children being bullied at school, is the worst fear for any parent. And “what to do if your child is being bullied at school” is a major concern fro most of us. Over 60% of children are involved in some form of bullying, be it as a victim, as a culprit or a witness. The verbal and physical assault at school is getting pervasive and toxic by the years. And bullying isn’t just for color of skin or appearance, but ample reasons which are humiliating. Some children willfully use their physical or verbal strength in controlling and embarrassing other kids. It causes psychological and physical damage to the victim and even have lasting impacts.
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With social media and elaborate screen times, the attitude, language and behavior or some children is getting aggressive. This makes their urge to have a superior hand or humiliate others, more stronger and nastier. Being parents, its our responsibility to help our child and try to make them bully-proof to the extent of not getting affected. As sometimes the mental torture is so damaging that children give in and end up taking steps which we, as a parent, repent later. Bullies and the victim both need help and counseling. Their mental fitness needs to be checked.
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Signs if your child is being bullied: When your little one shows any of the below sings persistently and avoids talking about it, you must have a bully-proofing mechanism set up.
Check for these signs:
1- Avoiding a routine bus to school or not checking their social media portals
2- Reluctance to go to school or seeking pick up and drop off frequently by avoiding bus.
3- Child gets moody and refuses to talk about it
4- Becomes irresponsible and ignorant
5- Injuries or wounds everyday which go unexplained
6- Child does not eat meals regularly or stays hungry at school.
7- The child gets scared or afraid while talking about day at school
8- The child is too withdrawn and does not mingle with family or friends
9- The child is frequently crying and upset
10- The child does not want to go to school and is frequently ill.
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How should parents help their child from bullies:
Being a parent, we must ensure a great bond with our child. This will help in healthy and hearty parent-child association. Also the child needs a comforting friend, a guiding parent and a confidante at this point. Try to be all-in-one parent for your little one. As its important to have your child share details about whats going on.
To help your child from being bullied try and follow the below:
1- Communicate often with your child:
Remember the more interactions you have with your child, more confidence they will have in you. They need a friend and guide who listens to their problems and does not judge them on any issues. Be sure to monitor well if any of the above symptom is persistent.
2- Show your confidence and pride in your child:
Bullies often make victims feel unimportant and powerless. So it is important to show your child how important they are in your world. Praise them often and don’t let the bully take away your child’s precious gift of self-confidence. Let the child believe in herself and her thoughts and actions. A child must be happy and confident about her color of skin and health status. No one can, in a anyway, comment or humiliate based on these privileges.
3- Information and awareness:
Discuss and share details about bullying and how not to get affected by bullies. Children must be aware on all the ways bullying can happen. Bullies are often unidentified on adult radar for their unpredictable ways of bullying. Some just comment, some speak slang and some make gangs to physically harm the victim. Also tell children to share and discuss about bullying with an adult at home or school, It isn’t a cowardly act but responsibility of the child.
4- Tattletale and informing is two different things:
Some kids worry if they complain or inform about a specific bully, they would be marked as tattletale. But they must open up and confide in adults to share details and specifics for getting help which is needed the most. Isolation is what the bullies want for intimidation, and if the child is scared about being a tattletale, it will actuate the bullying process.
5- Think and act fast:
Bullying is disheartening and depressing so quick treatments must be taken. Children get affected easily if their humiliation persists regularly. And being in a volatile and impulsive state of mind, they make take steps which would despise them and even us.
6- Aggression and attitude:
Teach your child to have a perfect blend of aggression and attitude. Without harming anyone’s personal space, our kids must use these to face bullies. All what a bully is seeking, is pleasure of disgracing your child’s demeanor. Being assertive and aggressive for own self, is a trait that must be inculcated in every kid. Fighting for own rights and own space, in fair ways without abusing anyone, is how bullying must be greeted by children. Being headstrong and confident is a quality, everyone should possess. So instill them early in childhood.
7- A self confident persona and aggressive body language:
Children must confident about how they appear, how they talk and how they stand for themselves. As the only psychological aspect with which bully attacks the victims mind is a feeling of being less important or being inappropriate. Children start losing their confidence in themselves and begin detaching from everyone.
8- Language training:
Train your child to use appropriate and aggressive language without using any slang, to talk to bully and show them these acts are insignificant. And such behavior is unreasonable and must be stopped. If a bully gets the hint that his tricks are falling flat, most often he will stop or find stronger ways. Therefore keep interacting with your child to find out details.
9- Mental strength exercises:
Victim children must be involved in mental strength exercises at home which will further enrich their self confidence. Reinforce their strengths and make them have faith and belief in their own talents. A child must be appreciated and made to feel special. Also utilize some leadership training games which will make your child trust their self over and above what bully says.
10- Inform teachers and counselors at school:
Bullying must never be taken lightly as there are ample chances the bully might get noxious and further harm our child physically too. Keep interacting with teachers at school and let them take extra care of your child at school. Caution is better than ending up in a soup.
Bullying at school is not a recent phenomenon but with media and politics showing increasing outrage about the hate crimes, it has become far more prominent. Special needs children and children of color are worst victims and often tend to get detached and socially awkward. Every child has the right to get educated in a pleasant environment, make friends and have a stable school life. As parents and care takers, we must have more access to treatment and reception our child faces. Sometimes children do not realize they are being bullied. A little caution with child behavior can help us understand the situation at school better. Let us try and give our children a stimulating and positive experience at school, for a healthier life ahead. And let us curb the evils of bullying by adopting the righteous ways to de-root them from our children lives.
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By Minu Manisha
