Technological advancements have made our social and personal lives being staged on a public platform. There is nothing which falls under the preview of personal space, not while you are using your digital devices. Children are increasingly falling prey to cyberbullying. So we bring you a compilation on “all you need to know about Cyberbullying and how to deal with it” As parents we must stand up with our kids in this disheartening and cruel form of internet harassment our children are put to. Always remember to share the old English adage with your little ones, ”Sticks and stones will break my bones, but word will never break me” which emphasizes your courage and valor must never be put down or torn apart. No name game or body shame must ever diminish your grit.
[Read: Dealing With Children’s Behavior Issues]
What is cyberbullying? And how it perpetrates even in our most sacred spaces at home:
Cyberbullying is the use or rather misuse of technology to harass, threaten and shame the target. As intimidating and tormenting as other form of bullying, it has some sever damaging impacts on psychological and mental health of children. Sometimes cyberbullying is unintentional but too promiscuous for your image. Some such issues are: posting hatred, porn and vulgar comments and videos on and about anyone, shaming others by misusing their public profiles or images, body shaming someone or making fun of certain physiological conditions and even criminal proceedings there in.
Cyberbullying has the consequences of viral public humiliation and personal threats too. Parents must take up the challenge and help their children deal with these emotional and physical turmoils. Online media is more for disguise and delusion than reality. Even the most popular of web-portals or apps have faced fake news and pornographic advancement through their media. Facts suggest 1 in every 3 kids have been cyberbullied and 2 in every 5 children have faced severe emotional trauma. And this isn’t for gender bias or physical strength anymore, mean girls mock and shame children for almost anything, and other bullies are more for sexually explicit comments or sexting. Most of this is prevalent in middle school kids aged 9-14.
[Read: Developing Interpersonal Skills In Children]
Some examples of cyberbullying:
1- Sending hate texts or cruel messages to someone
2- Sharing gossips and rumors about others online.
3- Insulting someone on their public profiles
4- Duplicating the personal details of someone and making fake profiles for promoting vulgar posts in their names
5- Sharing embarrassing photos of someone online.
6- Flaming or harassing someone in online video games
7- Ridiculing someone by making online polls for them
8- Sending phonographic content
Signs if your child is being cyberbullied:
Check for these below red flags in your child:
1- Being extremely secretive of their digital life and social profile
2- Withdrawal from social gatherings and family members
3- Slipping grades and showing disinterest in everything
4- Wanting to stop using cellphone or digital media
5- Mood swings and specially soon after their screen time
6- Avoiding discussions on social media and their profiles.
[Also Read: What To Do If Your Child Is Being Bullied At School]
Role of parents in preventing and dealing with cyberbullying:
1- Be your child’s go-to friend:
Make yourself available for every small talk or serious issue the children wants to discuss. Let not the ordeal or embarrassment torment them further.
2- Limit the screen time:
Children must not be given unlimited screen time, for two major reasons: firstly our subject of cyberbullying is too threatening and harmful and secondly children do not know what is appropriate for them. Giving unconditional and uncontrolled screen time promotes their indulgence in uncensored stuff too early
3- Make the screen space at living area for until high-school at least:
Keep the laptop or computer at home, in a common area to keep a flashing eye on content being viewed. There are ample apps that monitor usage, websites searched often and also websites that must be blocked. Enable these to ensure proper monitoring
4- Switch off the wifi or internet at night:
Thats the most critical time when most of the cyberbullying would happen. I would like to go with the old colloquialism “nothing good happens after midnight” , for most of cyber connectivity restrictions at home. Maybe the mind is too stressed for both bully and target to prevent the upcoming crime. And indulge in activities they may repent later.
5- Read and empower yourself with internet terms and websites:
This is extremely important as most parents don’t know how some cruel apps or games operate. This makes it even more difficult to monitor or prevent their dissing impacts. Be a part of social media and enjoy their benefits, also preventing their harms. Be the evil to know the evil, for some at least.
6- Stay connected with your children’s profiles online:
Be it twitter, Facebook, mySpace, Instagram, or any other. Be a part of your child’s cyber-family. Though there are privacy settings but you would still want to know the public references on their handles.
7- Build trust and communication:
Children must have healthy and and enriching relation with parents. You ought to build trust and win confidence of your child. This is very important to know how and what is affecting their mental health and wellness
8- Share online issues and cyber threats:
Keep discussing about the issues in news or from your online sources. And do share the solutions, in your opinions. Make your interaction more specific for your children.
9- Set aside specific time and website limits with your children’s help:
Set time limit and fix time for internet usage for any video games and have your child also participate in it. They must know the reasons and be appreciative of it. Also highlight the safety standards while promoting time limits.
10- Information on spam, cyberbullying and hate comments:
Share your knowledge on the above topics, with your children. Keep them informed on when and why they must not respond to any of these. Also it must be mentioned, never delete any of these, rather, take pictures and prints as proof. Then they must share these proofs with parents thereafter
11- Never blame your children:
If your child explains or brings to your notice any such incident, do not blame them and find faults in their online activities. Rather appreciate their gesture and together find ways to resolve. For more serious threats legal interventions are required. Do not disregard even the slightest of cyberbullies, let the children understand how important all of these are.
12- NEVER THREATEN the kids for locking away the computer or laptop:
This would make them secretive and they would end up not sharing these critical incidents. It is in genuine good faith, that the kids turned out for help, don’t just shoo them away.
13- Speak with school counselors:
If the bullies are from school, then make the school counselors also aware. And do not directly talk to the bully or his/her parents before seeking school guidance.
14- Seek law enforcement help:
For some serious and damaging incidents, inflicting considerable physical and emotional impacts, legal procedures must be put in place. Do not scare your child, but share how abiding by law is critical and significant under such circumstances.
15- Share books and information with children:
Children must read the details on what is cyberbullying, cyber security and cyber harassment. They must know the exact information on causes, prevention and how to deal with it. Books and online articles are the best source for making them aware on legit aspects.
What should the kids do to prevent and deal with cyberbullying:
1- Never share your profile or email password with anyone
2- Do not give any personal information on any online portal.
3- Do not open suspicious emails or emails from unknown senders
4- Do not respond to threats or bullying.
5- Do not share too much information online.
6- Avoid indulging in uncensored and vulgar spats online
7- Never be a predator or a prey to cyberbullying and also never be a spectator. Kids must share with parents, any such activity as soon as they see it online.
8- Be cool and relaxed when you respond or post comments online. Just remember if you are not careful, you may unintentionally insult or invoke anyone
The above compilation on, “All You Need To Know About Cyberbullying And How To Deal With It” is based on awareness of some serious incidents leading to teen suicides and more damaging impacts. As a parent and as subscriber of digital platforms, i would like to contribute my bit, in ensuring a happy and healthy school life for children. The recent issues of cyberbullying and cyber crimes prompt us to unite and curb these ugly evils from our society. Let us resolve to never let our children succumb to the proliferating cyber crimes. Be a part of your child’s social, personal and digital world in utmost appreciated ways, and help them to prevent-identify-deal-and-curb the evils of cyberbullying.
By Minu Manisha
